


That One Time...

by artsy_hoe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bi Disaster Peter Parker, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Avengers, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gay Steve Rogers, Gen, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Harry Potter References, How Do I Tag This, Identity Reveal, Irondad, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Jewish Peter Parker, Lesbian Carol Danvers, Lesbian Natasha Romanov, Lesbian Shuri (Marvel), M/M, Mentioned Skip Westcott, Not Canon Compliant, OOC everyone, Spider-Man Identity Reveal, Texting, The Gay Agenda, Trans Peter Parker, but in a good way, i took canon and stared into her eyes before revving up the chainsaw, like so many references, oh!, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-19 08:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29747445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsy_hoe/pseuds/artsy_hoe
Summary: I_Am_Ironman- This server is for work purposes only, please do not spam or misuse this server.Hawkeyeisthecoolest- suuuuurresnek (he/him)- boo you whoreSpider-Man- Did Loki just quote Mean Girls??shuriwithaB- yes, yes he did
Relationships: Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Harry Osborn/Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Michelle Jones/Shuri, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 19
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is beyond not canon compliant. Don't expect any correct characterizations, any correct timeline, or even correct spelling. Hope you enjoy!!

**I_Am_Ironman** created **Avengers Assemble**

 **I_Am_Ironman** added **Spider-Man** , **SteveRogers** , **THOR** , **Dr.BruceBanner** , **User#102746** , **Hawkeyeisthecoolest** , **King_T’Challa** , **Dr.Stephen_Strange** , **Scottyscottscott** , **Wasp** , **Rhodeybear** , **TheFalcon** , **V.I.S.I.O.N.** , **WandaMaximoff** , **James_Barnes** , **Captain_Marvel** , **valkyrie** , **shuriwithab**

**I_Am_Ironman** **-** This server is for work purposes only, please do not spam or misuse this server. 

**SteveRogers-** Of course. 

**WandaMaximoff-** I feel like we’re missing someone. Are we missing someone?

**Spider-Man-** We don’t have any of the Defenders or other vigilantes, but I believe all the Avengers, or at least part-time Avengers are here. 

**I_Am_Iron_Man-** Yeah I got everyone. And hey kid. 

**Spider-Man-** I’m not a kid. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** suuuuurre

**Spider-Man-** I pay taxes. I have my own apartment. I can legally drink. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** fuvking hell no need to go psyco 

**User#102746-** Clint this is a professional setting. Act like it. 

**Spider-Man-** Thank you, Ms. Romanov. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** see this is y ur a kid ur 2 polite

**Spider-Man-** I always use Mr, Ms, and Mx. Even at my real job. It’s just professionalism. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** bruh chill

**THOR-** I do believe my brother is missing from this server. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** We aren’t adding Loki. He’s a criminal. 

**James_Barnes-** So am I. 

**SteveRogers-** You got cleared, though. And you were brainwashed. 

**THOR-** As was my brother, yet you do not extend sympathy to him? 

**I_Am_Ironman-** Ugh fine, but he needs to be serious. 

**THOR-** Ah many thanks. 

**THOR** added **snek (he/him)**

**snek (he/him)-** what is this thor

**THOR-** It is a group chat, dear brother. And no you cannot leave.

**snek (he/him)-** boo you whore

**Spider-Man-** Did Loki just quote Mean Girls?? 

**shuriwithaB-** yes, yes he did 

**scottyscottscott-** Why’s Loki got his pronouns in his u/n?

**valkyrie-** Loki’s gender-fluid. 

**SteveRogers-** Pardon me? 

**Dr.BruceBanner-** Google it, Steve. Google it. 

**Spider-Man** changed nickname to **Spider-Man (he/they)**

**James_Barnes-** Okay now I’m confused. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** It just means I’m cool with both he/him and they/them as pronouns. 

**WandaMaximoff-** What’s a pronoun. 

**shuriwithaB-** idfk who do u think i am?? idek what a verb is. 

**shuriwithaB-** or like a noun. what’s a noun???

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** Why am I here. 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-** I do believe it is because you are an Avenger. 

**Scottyscottscott-** Omg I’m an Avenger??

**Wasp-** I should hope so, you went on house arrest for them. 

**TheFalcon-** lmaoooao i fogot about that 

**shuriwithaB-** where r alll the lesbians

**Captain_Marvel-** Here! 

**User#102746-** Here. 

**valkyrie-** hree 

**valkyrie-** here*

**SteveRogers-** What does the little asterisk mean? 

**I_Am_Ironman-** Are you kidding me. 

**SteveRogers-** No? I’m genuinely confused. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** bruh waht 

**James_Barnes-** He’s trolling you. 

**SteveRogers-** Awww Buckyyyy why’d you ruin my funnnn. 

**James_Barnes-** Because you deserve it. 

**SteveRogers-** Betrayal. 

**James_Barnes-** :) 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Who knew Captain America was such a troll. 

**James_Barnes-** I did. 

**TheFalcon-** I did. 

**User#102746-** I did. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** You don’t count Ms. Romanov, you know everything. 

**User#102746-** Except for your identity. 

**User#102746-** Which you should tell me. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I’m so sorry Ms. Romanov, but only four people know. And they figured it out by accident. 

**User#102746-** So you’re too good for the Black Widow? Aren’t we spider-buddies? 

**I_Am_Ironman-** Damn you’re really going all in Nat. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I’m so sorry Ms. Romanov T-T

**shuriwithaB-** look at that u made him cry say sorry

**shuriwithaB-** oh also bc my gf would kill me if i didnt 

**shuriwithaB** changed nickname to **shuriwithaB (she/her)**

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** there we go

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** now apologize natashalie or whatever ur name is 

**User#102746-** No. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** It’s alright Shuri.

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Though my boyfriend just said his favorite superhero is @Captain_Marvel now. 

**Captain_Marvel-** Oh thank you Spider-Man’s boyfriend! You’re my favorite civilian besides my wife and kid!! 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** No joke he started crying. 

**Captain_Marvel-** <3

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** HAHAHAHAH NAT IS SALTYYYYY SHES MADDD

**User#102746-** No I’m not. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** HAHAHA YES U RRRRRRRR

**User#102746-** Would it kill you to type out all the letters in a word? 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** yes 

**James_Barnes-** Good. 

**Hawkeyesithecoolest-** omg what did i do 2 u 

**James_Barnes-** You ate all my empanadas. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** sucks 2 b u ig

**James_Barnes-** That wasn’t even English what the _fuck._

****

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @James_Barnes that the word [ _fuck_ ] is banned. 

**James_Barnes-** Oh my G-d. 

**Hawekeyisthecoolest-** HAHAHAHAHA SUX 2 SUCK

**SteveRogers-** Why is there a GIF of me. And who is Captain MEE6? 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-** Captain MEE6 is a Discord Bot. 

**WandaMaximoff-** What Vis said. 

**SteveRogers-** But why is there a GIF of me?? Hello?? I can see you’re all online???   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, consider leaving a comment, checking out my other fics, or chatting with me over on [tumblr](https://idkwhyiexist.tumblr.com/)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shuriwithaB (she/her)- why do you text like a middle-aged white man trying to be cool? 
> 
> shuriwithaB (she/her)- oh… right… 
> 
> Hawkeyeisthecoolest- omg r00d
> 
> WandaMaximoff- F

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I hope you all are doing well! To be honest this fic is 1000% self-indulgent and it's already spiraling out of control. Canon? Who's she? Plot? Never heard of her.
> 
> Also, I changed the rating because of language.

**Avengers Assemble**

**I_Am_Ironman-** Has everyone repsonded in the chat at least once? 

**I_Am_Ironman-** *responded 

**I_Am_Ironman-** @Rhodeybear why haven’t you responded. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** C’mon Rhodeyyyyyy

**I_Am_Ironman-** Where are youuuuuuuu

**I_Am_Ironman-** Rhodey, light of my life, jam to my jelly please responddddd. 

**Rhodeybear** has left **Avengers Assemble**

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** HAHHAHAHAHA ROFL IM LAUGHING SO HARDDDD

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** why do you text like a middle-aged white man trying to be cool? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** oh… right… 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** omg r00d

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** @Spider-Man (he/they) d-do you see this too?? 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I wish I didn’t. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** words hurt guyz 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** **🤮**

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Oh my G-d. I hate it here. Mom come pick me up. 

**User#102746-** You have a mother?

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Well doesn’t everyone have a mother? Biologically speaking? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** hahahaha i bet ur an orphan 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I am trying so hard to remain professional. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** fight me bitch

**I_Am_Ironman-** Okay okay take it to the DMs. 

**SteveRogers-** I thought this was a professional server? 

**James_Barnes-** Did you really. Be honest. Did you really think that. 

**SteveRogers-** No but I had hoped. 

**WandaMaximoff-** F

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** F

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** F

**V.I.S.I.O.N-** F 

**King_T’Challa-** I forgot to ask but @shuriwithaB who on earth is your girlfriend and why have I not met her? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** uh

**Spider-Man (he/they)-**

****

**King_T’Challa-** Shuri who is your girlfriend. I’m going to play the guessing game if you don’t spill. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** in this server?? 

**King_T’Challa-** yes

**WandaMaximoff-**

**King_T’Challa-** 3

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** nononooo

**King_T’Challa-** 2 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** please no 

**King_T’Challa-** 1 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** fine 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** she’s this girl from NYC and she came to Wakanda on an exchange trip. Her name’s Michelle Johnson but she goes by MJ

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** what the fuck

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** you got a problem?? 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** No no I just. Hold on one second. 

**Losers**

**Petri Dish-** MJ YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE DATING THE PRINCESS OF WAKANDA

**nnnned-** WHAT THE FUCK

**sappho_reincarnate-** uh surprise? 

**nnnned-** bro you better add her to this gc right fucking now 

**sappho_reincarnate-** ugh fine but don’t embarrass me. 

**sappho_reincarnate-** also what about your identity? 

**Petri Dish-** fuck my identity this is so funny add her right now 

**sappho_reincarnate** added **shuriwithaB** to **Loser**

**sappho_reincarnate-** welcome to hell 

**sappho_reincarnate-** these are my friends @nnnned and @Petri Dish but you know peter better as the one

**sappho_reincarnate-** the only

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** spiderman? 

**sappho_reincarnate-** hey you ruined my dramatic reveal

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** fuck your dramatic reveal 

**sappho_reincarnate-** fuck you

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** fuck me yourself coward

**nnnned-** okok take it to the DMs peter is still an innocent child

**sappho_reincarnate-** … 

**nnnned-** ok i’m an innocent child please stop 

**sappho_reincarnate-** i was about to say have you seen peter and harry?? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** who’s harry? 

**nnnned-** peter’s boyfriend 

**sappho_reincarnate-** peter’s boyfriend

**Petri Dish-** my boyfriend

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** fun. also not that htis isn’t super interesting but the avengers gc is blowing up peter n me better get going. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** this*

**nnnned-** ah ok have fun 

**sappho_reincarnate-** ttyl babe 

  
  


**Avengers Assemble**

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** BAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO FUNNY   
****

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** shush

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** OMG SPIDERMAN UR SO CUTE  
 ****

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** OH MY GOD SHURI DID YOU GOOGLE ME?? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** HAHAHA YES YOU’RE LUIKE A PUPPY DOG

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** LIL GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOY  
 ****

**User#102746-** what 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** OAKNSFOIWHE NAT IS SO MAD THIS IS HILARIOUS

**I_Am_Ironman-** Oh my God @shuriwithaB send the pic

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** uh no way old man spidey’s identity is safe with me 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** also that was such an ugly keysmash @Hawkeyeisthecoolest

**User#102746-** So we know he knows a girl named Michelle Johnson in New York City but that leaves us with nothing. That is useless information. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** my gf is not useless!! 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** mj is the best we stan mj

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** too bad she’s too lesbian for me :/ 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** what we had was great 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** back off bitch 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** dw i love my bf too much even if mj is amazing 

**WandaMaximoff-** We love the drama. 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-** I do believe they have forgotten this is the general Avengers group chat, though. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Oopsie-daisies 

**snek (she/her)-** ooo who’s your boyfriend @Spider-Man (he/they) ?? 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** My boyfriend is amazing. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** My boyfriend’s name is Henry

**snek (she/her)-** why are you trying to lie to me

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Or was it Harvey? 

**Wasp-** I don’t think this is a good use of this chat. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Or was it Hunter? Holden? No, no I think it was Hector. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** lord help us all 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** Again. Why am I here?

**Dr.BruceBanner-** Who knows. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this chapter check out my other works, come visit me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/idkwhyiexist). or leave a comment if you want!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr.Stephen_Strange- No I hate Loki. She’s a conceited, hubristic nightmare. 
> 
> snek (she/her)- no I hate him. dr. strange is a half-rate, cocksure man who thinks he’s sooooo much better than everyone else. 
> 
> shuriwithaB (she/her)- omfg enemies to lovers 100k slowburn @Spider-Man (he/they) @WandaMaximoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! Hope you're doing well and are having good weather like I am :3

**Avengers Assemble**

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** stab

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** stabby stab stab 

**I_Am_Ironman-** You alright kid? 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Oh my G-d sorry wrong chat. I meant to send that to my boyfriend. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** That doesn’t answer my question…

**Spider_Man (he/they)-** No yeah I’m good my boyfriend dressed my stab wound. Thanks for your concern. 

**I_Am_Ironman-**???????

**Rhodeybear** added **Rhodeybear** to **Avengers Assemble**

**Rhodeybear-** Now you know how we feel. 

**Rhodeybear** left **Avengers Assemble**

**shuriwithaB-** 💀💀💀

**TheFalcon-** Dramatic much?

**I_Am_Ironman-** I- 

**I_Am_Ironman-** What????

**WandaMaximoff-** Colonel Rhodes is a fucking mood. 

**V.I.S.I.O.N-** I agree. 

**Scottyscottscott-** Why do you both always show up at the same time? 

**WandaMaximoff-** Oh Vis just follows me and only checks it when I do. 

**V.I.S.I.O.N-** ^^^

**Scottyscottscott-** Fun. 

**Wasp-** Scott you’re late to dinner. Get your ass into the restaurant Hank’s about to leave. 

**Scottyscottscott-** I’m sorry!! The Uber is running late!! I’ll be there in 5!!

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** HAHAHAHA LOSERRRR 

**User#102746-** Clint why are you like this. 

**Spider-Man (hey/they)-** Doesn’t he have kids???

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** um yes I do I’m the best dad ever. 

**shuriwithaB-** huh really? 

**User#102746-** He’s actually a very good dad. Why he insists on texting like this is a whole other story. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** um r00d much but ty ig 

**James_Barnes-** It is so weird seeing you type like a teenager. 

**shuriwithaB-** i didn’t type like this when i was a teenager!! 

**James_Barnes-** Yes, well, you’re smart. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** and im not?? 

**James_Barnes-** Yes. 

**WandaMaximoff-**

****

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-** Harsh. 

**Scottyscottscott-** Wow you guys are creepy. 

**Wasp-** Scott stop texting while Hank’s in the bathroom. 

**TheFalcon-** This group chat is so chaotic. 

**James_Barnes-** Did you expect anything different?

**TheFalcon-** Maybe?

**James_Barnes-** You fool. 

**snek (she/her)-** who here is single 

**THOR-** here, dear sister! 

**snek (she/her)-** oh god i know you’re single 

**Dr.BruceBanner-** I am also single, though I’m not really interested in relationships. 

**King_T’Challa-** I as well, Dr. Banner. 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** I am single and, as the kids say, “ready to mingle.” 

**shuriwithaB-** omfg @Spider-Man (he/they) @WandaMaximoff are you seeing this??? 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Unfortunately. 

**WandaMaximoff-** Yeah… 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-**

**snek (she/her)-** not that this isn't amusing but we’re missing someone 

**snek (she/her)-** last single person say here 

**TheFalcon-**...here 

**snek (she/her)-** hah! you can run but you can’t hide! 

**WandaMaximoff-** wow almost everyone is in a relationship. 

**SteveRogers-** I mean we are all about marriage age. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** …What…

**James_Barnes-** He’s trolling y'all again. 

**SteveRogers-** Stop ruining my fucking fun you dick. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @SteveRogers that the word [fucking] is banned. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @SteveRogers that the word [dick] is banned. 

**James_Barnes-** LMFAOOOOAOA STEVE JUST PUNCHED THE WALL 

**shuriwithaB-** THIS IS TOO FUNNY IM CRYINGGGG

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** LMFAO ME TOO IM SENDING SS TO MJ AND THEM

**SteveRogers-** Oh my God please don’t. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Too late!! 

**Koala Cult**

**Petri Dish-** [image.jpg] 

**nnnned-** oh my god no

**sappho_reincarnate-** what the fuck

**Harry Potter-**????? is that captain america?!?!?!

**Harry Potter-** my childhood is ruined 

**Petri Dish-** like u had a childhood stop the cap 

**sappho_reincarnate-**

**Avengers Assemble**

**SteveRogers-** @Spider-Man (he/they) You didn’t send it did you???

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Of course I did. MJ was very disappointed. 

**SteveRogers- 👊😔**

**shuriwithaB-** wow captain america is really up with the times 

**James_Barnes-** That’s what I’ve been tryign to say but y’all just don’t believe me! 

**James_Barnes-** tryinf*

**James_Barnes-** TRYING****

**User#102746-** What’s everyone’s zodiac sign. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Number 1: Are we going to just pretend you don’t already know that? 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Number 2: Ms. Romanov is a Zodiac Lesbian™???? 

**User#102746-** Number 3: Shut the fuck up and answer the goddamned question. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @User#102736 that the word [fuck] is banned. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @User102746 that the word [goddamned] is banned

**SteveRogers-** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**SteveRogers-** L

**SteveRogers-** O 

**SteveRogers-** S 

**User#102746** muted **SteveRogers**

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** nat has mod poewrs???

**User#102746-** Yes I do. Now. Answer me. 

**Captain_Marvel-** I’m an early Taurus and my wife is a late Aries! 

**User#102746-** Good. Who’s next. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** I’m a Gemini and Pepper’s an Aries. 

**User#102746-** Makes sense. 

**James_Barnes-** I’m a Pisces. 

**SteveRogers-** I just googled it and I’m a Cancer. 

**Captain_Marvel-** Oh wow y’all are really compatible. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I’m a Virgo and my boyfriend is a Scorpio. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** nice. i’m a sagittarius and mj’s a gemini 

**User#102746-** Not super compatible but you and her can make it work. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** good to know

**THOR-** I am, according to Lady Friday, a Libra! 

**snek** **(she/her)-** i’m a sagittarius 

**shuriwithaB-** omg twins 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** I am a Libra. 

**Captain_Marvel-** Ooo you and Loki are really compatible. 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** No I hate Loki. She’s a conceited, hubristic nightmare. 

**snek (she/her)-** i hate him. dr. strange is a half-rate, cocksure man who thinks he’s sooooo much better than everyone else. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** omfg enemies to lovers 100k slowburn @Spider-Man (he/they) @WandaMaximoff

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** we love to see. 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** What does that mean?? 

**WandaMaximoff-** Wattpad. AO3. Fanfiction. Enemies to lovers. The bread to my butter. 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-**

****

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** No I’d never date Loki. 

**snek (he/him)-** omg why not i’m offended 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** Didn’t you just say you hated me??

**snek (he/him)-** me hating u and me dating u are not two mutually exclusive things

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** … 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** DM me. 

**snek (he/him)-** HAHAHA YES SCORE  
  


 **shuriwithaB (she/her)-** zodiac lesbians for the win 

**Captain_Marvel-** :D

**User#102746-** Yes. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** Excuse me this isn’t a dating server. 

**User#102746-** Shut up Tony. 

**Captain_Marvel-** Shut up Tony. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** shut up tony

**Rhodeybear** added **Rhodeybear** to **Avengers Assemble**

**Rhodeybear-** Shut up Tony

**Rhodeybear** left **Avengers Assemble**

**I_Am_Ironman-** I DON’T DESERVE TO BE ATTACKED LIKE THIS 

**WandaMaximoff-** … 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-**

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to mostly keep canon star signs but again, who is canon? We don't know her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shuriwithaB (she/her)- @WandaMaximoff u kinda look like mabel from gravity falls
> 
> SteveRogers- Oh who’s that? 
> 
> James_Barnes- Cut the bullshit you love Gravity Falls. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! I just wanna say all the support for this fic has been so wonderful and I appreciate you all so much!!!

**Avengers Assemble**

**WandaMaximoff-** What’s everyone’s Hogwarts house? 

**WandaMaximoff-** Wait actually let’s do roll call. All Gryffindors say here: 

**SteveRogers-** Here

**THOR-** Here! 

**valkyrie-** here 

**Captain_Marvel-** Here! 

**I_Am_Ironman-**...here 

**WandaMaximoff-** Nice. Now all our Slytherins! 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** Here. 

**snek (he/they)-** here 

**WandaMaximoff-** Aw cute. I ship it. Also here. 

**WandaMaximoff-** And all of our Ravenclaws? (I’m saving Hufflepuff for last since that’s the majority of people here). 

**shuriwithaB-** here!!!!!

**Dr.BruceBanner-** Here. 

**Wasp-** Here. 

**Rhodeybear** added **Rhodeybear** to **Avengers Assemble**

**Rhodeybear-** Here. 

**Rhodeybear** left **Avengers Assemble**

**WandaMaximoff-** Why does he do that every time?? 

**V.I.S.I.O.N-**

****

**WandaMaximoff-** Lmao yeah. And now, drumroll please, the Hufflepuffs! 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** here! 

**User#102746-** Here. 

**Hawkeyeisthecoolest-** HEREEEEEEE 

**James_Barnes-** Here… 

**King_T’Challa** \- Here. 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-** Here

**Scottyscottscott-** Here!!! 

**TheFalcon-** Here. 

**shuriwithaB-** wow there are a lot of hufflepuffs

**WandaMaximoff-** ikr 

**Captain_Marvel-** I thought there would be more Gryffindors. Also Colonel Rhodes is a Ravenclaw? He seems more like a Hufflepuff, what with how he’s stuck with Tony. 

**Rhodeybear** added **Rhodeybear** to **Avengers Assemble**

**Rhodeybear-** Yes but I value learning and knowledge and thinking most of all. That’s why Dr. Strange is a Slytherin. He didn’t become a doctor for the learning, he became a doctor for the prestige. 

**Rhodeybear** left **Avengers Assemble**

**Captain_Marvel-** Wow. Okay thank you. 

**shuriwithaB-** now ik why he and tony stark are such good friends

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** They’re both drama queens. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** I-

**I_Am_Ironman-** You’re not wrong but next topic. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** oh! oh! i’ve recently gotten super obsessed with picrews! this is one of my favorites: 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-**

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Omg that’s so cute!! Send the link?

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** sure! <link>

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I’ll dm it to you and MJ and them, one sec! 

**User#102736-** So close… 

**WandaMaximoff-** Hahaha better luck next time, but you can have mine!

**WandaMaximoff-**

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** u kinda look like mabel from gravity falls 

**WandaMaximoff-** Omg yeah! 

**WandaMaximoff-** I should cosplay her or be her for Halloween! 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** You totally should! 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** ^^^

**SteveRogers-** Oh who’s that? 

**James_Barnes-** Cut the bullshit you love Gravity Falls. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @James_Barnes that the word [bullshit] is banned. 

**SteveRogers-** Why do you never let me have fun omfg Bucky. 

**SteveRogers-** You’re so mean. 

**James_Barnes-** I don’t care. Suck it up buttercup. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Oh my G-d no hate Mr. Barnes but I despise that phrase. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** When I was in high school all my teachers would say stuff like that (especially that phrase) and it _bothered me so, so much._

**James_Barnes-** Oop sorry. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Who here went to college?? 

**shuriwithaB-** fuck college that’s colonizer shit 

**I_Am_Ironman-** Of course I went to college 

**Rhodeybear** added **Rhodeybear** to **Avengers Assemble**

**Rhodeybear-** I met Tony at MIT 

**Rhodeybear** left **Avengers Assemble**

**Dr.BruceBanner-** I did. 

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** Obviously I did. 

**Wasp-** I went to college. 

**TheFalcon-** Me too ^^ 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I’m aware this is compromising my identity but how the _fuck_ did you survive this shit sucks T-T 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @Spider-Man (he/they) that the word [ _fuck_ ] is banned. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @Spider-Man (he/they) that the word [shit] is banned. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Oh my G-d. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** L 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** but also just drop out who cares 🙈😳💀

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** Lmfao I wish. Also @shuriwithaB (she/her) I just added u so check Koala Cult rn 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** kk 

**Koala Cult**

**Petri Dish** added **shuriwithaB (she/her)** to **Koala Cult**

**Petri Dish-** aren’t i so cute???

**Petri Dish-**

**Harry Potter-** omg yes 

**nnnned-** ooo send me the link 

**Petri Dish-** <link>

**Harry Potter-** who’s @shuriwithaB (she/her)? 

**sappho_reincarnate-** my gf 

**nnnned-** the princess of wakanda 

**Harry Potter-** huh??

**Harry Potter-** and i just didn’t know???

**Harry Potter-** i was jsut unaware???

**Harry Potter-** yall didn’t deign to tell me???

**nnnned-** to be fair peter and i found out yesterday… 

**Harry Potter-** wtf @sappho_reincarnate??? 

**sappho_reincarnate-** no comment 

**sappho_reincarnate-** anyways just do the picrew and get off my ass 

**Harry Potter-** fine. 

**nnnned-** uh so this picrew doesn’t have settings for me… 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** or me… 

**sappho_reincarnate-** ^^^ 

**Petri Dish-** ahhh i’m sorry i didn’t realize should we all do a different one? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** yeah hold up i’ll find one 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** <link>

**nnnned-** ooo this one’s cute 

**Nnnned-**

**sappho_reincarnate-** it is 

**sappho_reincarnate-**

**Petri Dish-** omg it’s adorable 

**Petri Dish-**

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** babe we’re matchy matchy

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-**

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** also there weren’t many hair options so i had to make do 

**Petri Dish-** @Harry Potter where’s yours???

**Harry Potter-** here u go 

**Harry Potter-**

**Petri Dish-** omg so cute!!! also how did u get it to look exactly like u??? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** it does look like u 

**Harry Potter-** how do u know what i look like…? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** peter’s insta 

**Harry Potter-** cool cool 

**Petri Dish-** anyways i gotta go patrol ttyl

**nnnned-** stay safe ttyl! 

**Harry Potter-** stay safe babe xoxo

**Petri Dish-** aww ily xoxo

**Harry Potter-** love u more 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** are they always this sickeningly sweet? and stay safe peter! 

**sappho_reincarnate-** yes. yes they are. n stay safe loser. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's Hogwarts house is absolutely correct and I will die on that hill. I made all the picrews, but I didn't make the picrews -- if that makes sense. 
> 
> [first picrew](https://picrew.me/image_maker/599056)   
> [second picrew](https://picrew.me/image_maker/292968)  
> [third picrew](https://picrew.me/image_maker/572653)
> 
> Also! Come chat with me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/idkwhyiexist)! I'd love to talk to you all :3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wasp- So you are wrong, coffee is better than tea. 
> 
> Scottyscottscott- You are a dirty fucking liar stop the slander. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short but /hopefully/ funny chapter. And if you couldn't tell I am firmly on the tea side of the debate. Fight me.

**Avengers Assemble**

**Wasp-** I’m doing a poll, so please fill this out anonymously: 

**Wasp-** <link>

**Wasp-** So you all are wrong, coffee is better than tea. 

**Scottyscottscott-** You are a dirty fucking liar stop the slander. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @Scottyscottscott that the word [fucking] is banned. 

**Wasp-** Okay we’re settling this right here right now. 

**Wasp-** Who thinks tea is better than coffee? This includes all variants such as bubble tea, breakfast teas, nighttime teas, frappuccinos, black coffee, lattes, etc. Say I. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I 

**THOR-** I 

**Dr.BruceBanner-** I

**Scottyscottscott-** I 

**WandaMaximoff-** I 

**V.I.S.I.O.N.-** I 

**King_T’Challa-** I

**Dr.Stephen_Strange-** I 

**snek (they/he)-** I 

**valkyrie-** I 

**Scottyscottscott-** Who changed sides??? Now it’s even??? 

**Wasp-** Fuck. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @Wasp that the word [fuck] is banned. 

**Scottyscottscott-** Who can we ask?? 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** We could ask MJ. 

**Wasp-** That’s Shuri’s girlfriend, right? 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** yea 

**Scottyscottscott-** That could work. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)** added **sappho_reincarnate** to **Avengers Assemble**

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** okok babe really important question. 

**sappho_reincarnate-**? 

**Wasp-** Which is better, tea or coffee? This includes all variants like bubble tea, breakfast teas, nighttime teas, frappuccinos, black coffee, lattes, etc. 

**sappho_reincarnate-** i like tea more 

**Wasp-** … 

**Scottyscottscott-** HAHAHAHAHA I WIN TEA>>>> COFFEE

**Rhodeybear** added **Rhodeybear** to **Avengers Assemble**

**Rhodeybear-** Why would you do that MJ. Coffee gives life. Coffee _is_ life. 

**sappho_reincarnate-** sorry colonel rhodes :/ 

**Rhodeybear** :<

**I_Am_Ironman-** Oh my god hi Rhodey!!!!!!!! 

**Rhodeybear** has left **Avengers Assemble**

 **shuriwithaB (she/her)-** skjkjsdbfksjdh 

  
**Captain_Marvel-** I’m really disappointed with your choice MJ, but I do appreciate your username. 

**User#102736-** ^ 

**sappho_reincarnate-**!! 

**sappho_reincarnate-**!!! 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** I think you broke her. 

**Spider-Man (he/they)-** By the way, MJ, @User#102736 is the Black Widow. 

**sappho_reincarnate-**!!!!!! 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** if you couldn’t tell y’all are her icons. the only thing that would make her day better would be slandering tony stark. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** Hey! What did I do? 

**sappho_reincarnate-**...do you want to know? 

**I_Am_Ironman-** You know what I don’t think I do. 

**shuriwithaB (she/her)-** lmfao coward. anyways it was nice seeing u in this server mj ttyl <3

**shuriwithaB (she/her)** removed **sappho_reincarnate** from **Avengers Assemble**

**TheFalcon-** Wow harsh. 

**TheFalcon-** Also coffee is way better than stupid leaf water what the fuck. 

**Captain MEE6** would like to remind @TheFalcon that the word [fuck] is banned. 

**I_Am_Ironman-** Can we please stop cursing this GIF is getting annoying. 

**TheFalcon-** You’re the one who set it up?? 

**TheFalcon-** You can change it??

**I_Am_Ironman-** Semantics. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this chapter check out my other works, come visit me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/idkwhyiexist). or leave a comment if you want!


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